Barry Bostwick cleans my sheets ...

Your reference is strong, but your hero is weak. 
(Click here for dramatic background music.)
When the future of humanity stands upon the precipice of extinction there is but one man we can call upon to be our champion.
We will need a man with speed ...
A man with impeccable instincts ...
A man with beautiful golden hair and a super-athletic build ...
We need ...


FLASH!!!!


AAAA-AAAAA-AAAAAH!!!!



Seriously dude, look at the size of that sword.

But wait, is that Timothy Dalton and John Rhys-Davies?

I just gave you two scoops of a home-grown smack down.
How does it feel?
Do you feel like you were just impaled by a crash-landed rocket ship?
I'll bet you do ...