Mark G.
With a steely gaze and a hard-hitting yet graceful style, Mark enters the Pop Culture Kung Fu arena. Raised in a Shaolin monastery in the heart of San Jose, California, he first honed his skills by reciting the plots of Brady Bunch episodes while sitting in the lotus position under a torrential waterfall. At the age of thirteen, he snatched a pebble from his master's hand while quoting the entirety of Schwarzenegger's dialogue from Conan the Barbarian and Red Sonja. His special techniques include the devastating "80's Genre Flurry Mongoose Strike," crippling his opponent with references from science fiction and fantasy from the greed decade, and the horrifying "Geek Lotus," which is illegal in 30 of the 50 states. He fights under the name "The Nimble Moose"
Jared
Born under an Arctic moon to the frozen white of the Alaskan Tundra - this warrior learned survival directly from the womb. Raised by air wolves and talking cars our champion of obscurity migrated south to live in isolation in the great Pacific Northwest. A master of film, television, music and video game references; he wields “The Hammer of Hasselhoff” and will unleash the power of the Hadōken upon all who oppose him. Driven by hunger. Fed on Cocoa Puffs. Bathed in Dr. Scholl’s medicated foot powder. Fighting under the name “The Wiry Wildebeest” our hero knows only this – there can be only one.
