Tuesday night, I read a review of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's first foray into writing, "A Shore Thing." Now, I am no "Jersey Shore" virgin. I have borne witness to both full seasons of this cultural adventure, and am avidly watching this current season. In short, I thought I was prepared.
I was wrong.
Contrary to my previous beliefs, it was not an autobiography, but an actual novel. As a literature teacher, I was intrigued. I had questions. I knew there was a ghost writer helping out, but would Snooki's voice actually come through? What kind of novel would this woman write? I read on.
The few snippets in the review alone were enough to leave me dazed and shuddering. the scatological references alone were enough to cause me to stare in slack-jawed denial. Overcome with revulsion, I turned away from the review and on to Facebook to express my horror.
But the memories would not fade.
As I told people about this, people laughed, but they did not believe. They had not seen those words arranged in such horrid and abhorrent fashion.
Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. I would have to read this book and report on the horrors within. I would do this in place of all those I hold dear. I would face this nightmare so they would not have to.
Tonight the madness begins. I will download "A Shore Thing" and begin to read it. I am afraid I lack the courage and self-esteem to actually buy an actual hard copy of this thing in a real store where people can see it in my hands.
As I prepare for this, I am left with a quote from the philosopher Nietzsche echoing in my mind.
"And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."